Khayrah
I slumped on the bed,
feeling drained and exhausted after cleaning the room, folding my clothes, and
that of Fadilah. I had swept and mopped the floor at the wee hours of the
morning when Fadilah was still asleep and the sun hadn’t set in the sky. My
mind was a whirl of confusion and I couldn’t sleep throughout the night. My
thoughts were transfixed with all that had happened in the restaurant…the way
Taofeek’s face had jolted in shock when he heard of the dreadful news, the way
he had revealed his secret…that he had three children.
But come to think of
it, why would Taofeek have three children? Three children out of the wedlock at
the age of what? Twenty-seven? It sounded implausible!
I folded my favourite
gown, the one I had worn on my first meeting with Taofeek. That day was one of
the happiest days of my life and I could hardly sleep. I spent all night,
thinking of Taofeek’s face and wondering how lucky I was to be getting married
to such a handsome and lovely man.
I should have known
that things would never work out…that I only wished to get married and have
children like other women…but it would never be possible. Tears streaked down my face as I remembered
Taofeek’s bright face and the way he had talked about how we would spend our
lives together, swinging his hands back and forth and widening his eyes with
glee and hope. I had stared at his wide arms and imagined being in them…resting
my head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat. I could hardly wait to
stare at him longingly without feeling guilty, hugging him tightly and kissing
him deeply. I had wished that he would one day be mine…but it would never
happen. Never happen!
“Khayrah?’’ Fadilah
said slowly, tapping me on the shoulder.
Startling with
surprise, I dropped the clothing I was holding to the floor and cleaned my wet
face. “You’ve woken up?”
“Yes. Have you prayed subh?” Fadilah yawned with sleepy eyes,
her mouth wafting of a foul smell.
I winced, covering my
nose with my hands. “I’m off-salah.
Go and wash that your smelly mouth before it pollutes the room.”
“Okay Mama,” Fadilah
chuckled, plodding towards the toilet door. “This one you woke up to clean this
room…”
“Go and perform
ablution before mom reaches here.” I interrupted her with a warning, in a bid
to change the topic because it was heading to what had happened yesterday.
Fadilah nodded in
return and entered the bathroom. We never wanted our mom to march into our room
and remind us about salah before we
wake up. She would scream at the top of her lungs and sprinkle water on our
faces if we were still in bed till fajr time.
I stared around the room. It was as neat as a pin. I needed to engage myself in
several activities, in other to avoid thinking of Taofeek and all that
transpired yesterday.
Taofeek!
The excited look on his face when he told me about his promotion. The way he
had reacted when I told him about my ailment. The moment he confessed and
opened up on his secret.
I glanced towards the
shelf, where my phone was lying. A part of me wanted him to call me and plead
to have me in his life again, irrespective of when I would be leaving this world.
A part of me wanted him to send an SMS, expressing his undying love for me and
how he would love and accept me irrespective of the fact that I was dying.
A sudden buzz my phone
gave made me shriek in anxiety. I fastened my pace towards the shelf to reach
for my phone. Unlocking my phone in a rush, I saw a new message from Facebook.
It wasn’t from Taofeek. But it was from another man.
Asalamu ‘alaykum.
-
Talhah Munir
A surge of excitement
seeped through me as I replied the message. It was the same way I had met
Taofeek. This could be the perfect replacement!
Wa’alaykumu salam.
-
Khayrah Raqeeb.
I smiled eagerly as I
watched the received icon tick, showing that the message had been delivered. He
had just read the message and he was typing.
I imagined how Talhah
would look like. He might probably be more religious and handsome than Taofeek.
That would be Taofeek’s loss! Haha!
He would sleep in front of the gate, begging me to accept him into my life,
just like Abdul Lateef had done. He wouldn’t bear to see our wedding pictures!
Talhah and I together, hands in hands while we smile widely and wave at our
wedding guests. He would cry till his tears dry up and he wouldn’t be able to
cry anymore. He would then start writing books, advising people to cherish the
one they love and stand by them no matter what.
‘I
left her because she has cancer. That is the biggest regret of my life. I lost
a diamond. I lost Khayrah.’ I imagined Taofeek saying, while
he wallowed in regret.
The vibration my phone
gave as a new message popped up almost made me jump out of my skin. A sly smile
appeared on my lips as I cleaned my eyes before reading, imagining seeing a
sentence such as: ‘You’ve been my crush
for over a year now. I just mustered the courage to chat you up.’ ‘Are you still
single and ready to get married?’ etcetera.
Was up pretty lady. Hw r u? I lv u
-
Talhah Munir.
My face creased to a
frown as I blocked him and threw my phone on the bed. Oh, he was one of those
unserious men who slid into lady’s inboxes to flirt. Why did think he was
different from Taofeek? Didn’t he turn out to become someone who had been
engaging in illicit affairs?
No! I couldn’t really
imagine myself getting in fists with several baby mamas and raising children
who weren’t mine. What was even the possibility that he had changed… that he
had stopped fornicating?
I placed my hands on my
forehead, willing these sorts of thoughts from clouding my mind. The room was
neat and there was nothing else to do. Throw the clothes on the floor and
re-fold them? Scatter the room and start re-arranging? My family members would
start to suspect that I might have probably gone mad.
I left the room and
headed to the kitchen. There would surely be tasks to finish in the kitchen:
the making of breakfast, washing the dirty dishes and cleaning the floor.
Hafsah shivered in fear
as she spotted me entering the kitchen, the knife she was using to cut green
vegetables falling to the ground. I knew she had to be surprised. I couldn’t
recall the last time I stepped my foot into the kitchen. Hafsah was saddled
with the responsibility of cooking the dishes and serving us with whatever we
wanted. The kitchen was like her room. She would wake up before dawn to start
preparing what we would have for breakfast.
“Sorry oo! I’m sure I startled you.” I smiled
at her, entering the kitchen to realize how much things had changed. The brown
carpet had been replaced with white tiles. The gas cooker was different from
the one we were previously using. The cupboard was designed with zebra print
and there was a new refrigerator!
“It’s fine…” Hafsah
smiled uneasily, trailing me with suspicious eyes as she bent down to pick the
knife and continued chopping the vegetables at a slower pace.
“I came to assist you.
What do you plan on making for breakfast?”
“Boiled rice and
vegetable soup with fried fish.”
“I’ll help you make
that. You can go to your room and sleep.” I stated, taking the tray of
vegetables away from her.
Hafsah gasped in
disbelief, giving me an odd look. “But…you…mom…” she spluttered.
I gave her a reassuring
smile. “I’m serious, Hafsah. Go and rest. You work so hard, you should rest.”
“Okay,” Hafsah replied
as she walked out of the kitchen.
I chopped the
vegetables, wondering why it wouldn’t slice as thin as the one Hafsah had done.
I knew that I had a lot of work to do in terms of the kitchen.
“Khayrah?” Fadilah
called as she entered the kitchen, convulsing into laughter. “When did you
start to cook…I mean, when was the last time you touched a spoon or seasoning
cubes? I’m surprised you can find your way into the kitchen!” Fadilah smirked
at me.
“Whatever!”
“You’ve cleaned our
room and you’re making breakfast…what is going…oh, that reminds me, he is here
again oo!”
My face jolted in shock
as I stared at her with an eager expression. “Taofeek?”
“No, not Taofeek. The
pest is here again. Ensure you take pesticide along with you.”
“Who is the pest?” I
asked with furrowed brows.
Fadilah rolled her
eyes. “Abdul Lateef! That’s the only pest I know of.” She shrugged nonchalantly
and opened the refridgerator to grab a bottled water.
Without saying a word,
I returned to the room to wear hijab
and stormed outside, reading to give Abdul Lateef the piece of me.
He was standing in
front of the doorway, dressed in a white- crisp shirt and black trousers. He
sighed loudly and glanced at me with a sad look, before lowering his eyes.
Abdul Lateef was my first love…the person I had written about in my diary.
I filled my diary with
stories about him, the reasons my love for him was unexplainable…the way I
savoured the smell of his strawberry shampoo, how I would struggle to lower my
gaze because of his small and bright eyes, curvy lips, curly and dark hair, and
long beautiful fingers. His smile was just everything. I loved to see the glamour
his white neatly arranged set of teeth displayed and the way his nose creased
whenever he smiled. If I were to write an epistle, regarding what I loved about
him, words would fail me. But now, all I could see was a man who had betrayed
my love and trust.
“Asalamu ‘alaykum,
Khayrah. How are you?”
“Wa’alaykumu salam. I’m
fine. What are you doing here?”
“I miss you. I miss so
much…and I want you back. I’m ready to do all it takes to have you. What do you
want me to do? I’ll do anything in the world to have you back.” Abdul Lateef
said with all seriousness, his eyes slightly raised, the way they did whenever
he meant what he was saying.
“I want you to leave me
alone. I’m going through a lot right now and I don’t want to be put into
pressure. You had your reasons for ending our relationship and nothing has
changed.”
Abdul Lateef walked
closer to where I was standing, making me nervous and jittery. He sighed deeply
and stared at me with pity, rubbing his right thumb over his forehead. I could
still perceive the sweet smell of his favourite perfume, the smell that made me
imagine taking strawberry and grape. “No one will want to get married to you
because of your condition. If Taofeek knows about it, he’ll leave you…”
“He knows about it.” I
replied blankly, pulling my face away.
From the corner of my
eyes, I could see the way his eyes widened in delight. “And?”
“It’s complicated Abdul
Lateef. We both kept things from each other. We cannot be together anymore.” I
stated morosely, blinking away the pain that was evident in my eyes.
“Khayrah, do not forget
all we shared. The memories, the promises we made to each other, the way we had
planned on having our wedding and travelling to Paris to spend our time alone
in the ‘city of lights.’ Do not make
these dreams dash away because of a silly mistake I made. I love you and you
love me. We both know that and we can’t deceive each other. I’ll give you till
the end of the day to decide on accepting or rejecting my proposal. If you
still want to be with me, the one true person who will love you sincerely, then
let me know. If you don’t want to, then I promise to never disturb you again.
But remember this, I love you more than you can ever imagine.’’ Abdul Lateef
said and walked away.
I stood at the same
position for over a minute, wondering if I was making the worst mistake by not
accepting him back into my life. Maybe he was right. No one would accept me for
who I am. I was tempted to run to his house and tell him that I had
accepted…but I changed my mind. After all, I still had until night time to make
a decision.
“Will you accept?”
Fadilah asked as I entered the living room. It was obvious that she had been
eavesdropping on our conversation.
“I don’t know. Maybe
this is the best option.”
“Whatever decision you
want to make is up to you. But, do not forget when he had ended the
relationship. When you had pleaded in tears that he does not leave you but he
wouldn’t even listen to what you had to say. When he invited his new lover into
the compound and the way she had done things to spite you and make you feel
jealous. Do not forget all these when making your decision.”
“What did you hear
about you making breakfast, ehn
Khayrah? You want to make breakfast and you haven’t even finished chopping the
vegetable lataa ro? Are we going to
feed on raw vegetables?” My mom interrupted our conversation as she entered the
living room, still dressed in her white nightgown.
“I’ll head to the
kitchen now and continue,’’ I stated, plodding towards the kitchen and glad
that I didn’t have to respond to Fadilah’s statement.
“Do you have an appointment
with the doctor today?” my mom asked.
“Yes,’’ I replied
blankly, walking faster towards the kitchen door.
I was not in the mood to
engage in any discussion with anyone. My mind was clouded with a lot and any
discussion about my illness would make me disconsolate.
“Faizah and I want to
hang out this afternoon. We wouldn’t mind if you join us.” Fadilah remarked,
reading through her phone.
As much I hated to be
around Fadilah’s best friend, Faizah, I was eager to leave the house and clear
the troubling thoughts away from my head.
“How about her
appointment with the doctor?” my mom inquired.
“We’ll leave for Ikeja
City Mall immediately after leaving the hospital. How about that?” Fadilah smiled,
raising her hands.
I sighed deeply.
“Okay.”
Episode Eight
Khayrah
Faizah was the tallest
woman I had ever set my eyes on. She had chocolate skin with long legs and big,
red lips. She was undoubtedly pretty and so full of herself. Of all the times I
had been around her, she would frequently talk about the number of men that
were dying to make her their wives, and the new rich man that had promised to
buy her a car or sponsor her trip to Dubai. She was the worst talkative I had
ever come across. Faizah would keep talking and cut you off whenever you had
something to say. Sometimes, I would wonder why she was the best friend of my
sister. I dreaded the moment she would pay us a visit at home and place her
feet on our bed, staining the bed sheet with chocolates and talking about how
unusually quiet I was and how strange it was that I didn’t have friends. I
would never dream of being here, but I was desperate to leave the house.
“Fadilah, your sister
is so weird. I’ve never seen a friend visit her. She is usually alone, doing
things I don’t understand. How come you guys are sisters?’’ She would say in
mockery tones.
Now, I was sitting in
the KFC section in Ikeja City Mall, munching on a chicken drumstick and gazing
at Faizah as she kept talking about her new fiancé, Ibrahim, who was the son of
a wealthy and influential politician based in Abuja. Now, she was talking about
a man she had recently met and how she wanted to hook him with Fadilah.
“This guy is soooo rich and handsome. Way handsome
than that Rasheed who wants to leave you for one yeye Ph.D. programme,’’ Faizah snorted.
She was dressed in a
blue and yellow pinafore, and gold veil, Fadilah dressed in a similar outfit
and hers of green colour.
I studied how uneasy
Fadilah looked at the sound of Rasheed’s name. Yes, she still loved him and she
would be willing to take him back. Rasheed was Fadilah’s first love and the
only man she had dreamt of being with. It came as a surprise when she decided
to end their relationship because he would be travelling out of the country for
four years.
Fadilah sipped from my
bottle of orange juice and pressed her lips tightly. “But…”
“Oh, please. Don’t tell
me any love yen yen yen. He loves you
and decided to leave you? Please, don’t tell me that. I will hook you up with
someone that you’ll love so much.” She said, then turned towards me, scratching
her head. “I could have hooked up your quiet sister too, but…you know…”
“I have cancer? Don’t
worry, Faizah. I don’t need you to hook me up with anyone…” I was saying when
someone walked in.
It was Rasheed! His
eyes were fixed on Fadilah as he walked towards our table, his face looking
solemn. Five years before, Fadilah would never dream of getting married to
someone like Rasheed.
‘I
want a tall, dark and handsome man with white sparkling teeth.’
Fadilah had fantasized when we were talking about our dream man. However, life
happened and she fell in love with someone we never expected. Someone who was the direct opposite of her
dream man.
“Asalamu ‘alaykum
everyone. Please, I need to speak with you, Fadilah.” He pleaded with guilty
eyes.
I knew that he had come
to beg her, to tell her that their lives were incomplete without each other.
Fadilah tried to hide the excitement in her eyes as she moved to a different
table to talk to him, watching him longingly as he talked slowly and with
passion.
“They look so perfect
together.’’ Faizah gushed as she grinned at them.
I rolled my eyes at
her. Some minutes ago, she was talking about hooking Fadilah with a richer and
more handsome man. Now, she was gushing over them. Such a pretentious friend!
That was why I never considered having a friend.
I wished that Taofeek
would do the same…appear out of nowhere and beg me to return to his life. But I
couldn’t wait any longer. If Taofeek would not come to me, I would go to him.
We love each other and we should be together, no matter what. Cancer or
children, we were meant for each other.
Picking my phone from
the table, I dialed Mr. Lolu’s number. “Please come and pick me up. We’re
heading to Fushia Company Ltd. at Ogba.”
***
Fushia Company Ltd. was
a richly-furnished office composed of a large number of workers. The workers
sat in cubicles, working with full concentration and typing away on their
keyboards. I had always dreamt of working in such establishment but I just
couldn’t, not with my condition. My dad had offered me a position in his company
but I had declined it.
“I’ve informed Mr.
Taofeek that you want to see him. Please, kindly wait for a minute.” The fair-complexioned
receptionist with a face filled with excessive makeup said in a sing-song tone,
struggling to speak like the British.
“Okay, thanks.’’
I retouched my face
with powder and adjusted my hijab, feeling scared and nervous. I had never done
this. I had never begged a man to be with me.
“You can go in now. His
office is the third to the left.”
“Thanks,’’ I muttered
and walked towards the door, breathing hard and willing myself to knock on the
door.
“You can do this,” I
muttered to my face, stretching my shaky hands and knocking on the door.
“Come in.” I counted to
three and entered the office.
Taofeek’s office was a
medium-sized office that was wafting of a sweet fragrance. Taofeek focused on
his laptop with a frown, then looked up as I strode towards his table. Gosh! He
looked more handsome than when I had last seen him…when I had walked out of the
restaurant. I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have walked out on him.
“Asalamu ‘alaykum
Khayrah. To what do I owe this visit?’’ he sounded very professional as he
rubbed his weary eyes and glared at me.
Taofeek was putting on
a red and black shirt, and his skin glowed brighter than before. Was that
because he had been promoted to a higher position?
“I came to beg you and
plead that you forgive me for walking out on you the other time. I am sincerely
sorry and I hope that we can start again. I will accept your children and your
past…and all your flaws. I love you so much and I can’t do without you.” I said
in sobs, tears coursing down my face.
‘’Do you really love
me?’’
Really? Why would he be
asking such a question? ‘’Of course, I do. I love you very much.”
‘’Or you are looking
for someone to get married to…anyone to get married to…because you’re left with
no choice? You’re coming back here to beg me because you’re left with no
choice. You’re scared that you’ll find no one. You just want to fulfill your
wish of getting married to anyone. Be it Taofeek or AbdurRahman or Yusuf…anyone
at all. You wouldn’t have accepted my past if you had better choices, but
you’re here because you’ve looked around and you know you’ll be all alone.”
“No. I love you. I love
you very much, Taofeek. I’m not here just because I want to get married. I’m
here because you are the one I want to be with. What do you want me to do to
amend this…I’ll tell my father to buy you…’’
Taofeek’s laughter
interrupted my speech. I felt very offended as I watched him glare at me in
irritation. ‘’That’s it right? To buy me off? To find a pauper you can buy off
and get married to before it’s all over? If that’s your plan, then you have
failed.”
“No…that isn’t my
plan…’’
‘’You have cancer,
Khayrah. Remember that.’’
“I shouldn’t have come
here.” I yelled, covering my tear-soaked and walking out of the building.
I would have caused a
scene as I stumbled on my way out of the company building, bawling my eyes out
till I entered the car.
I buried my face in my
hands and allowed the tears to flow freely down my face. I shouldn’t have done
this. I had humiliated myself. Maybe Abdul Lateef was right. No one would be
able to love me because of my condition.
“Aunty,
sorry oo! Man no worth to dey cry for oo! No cry abeg.’’
Mr. Lolu said, turning back and glancing at me with pity.
I ignored him and
dialed my mom’s number. ‘’Okay, customer. See you again.’’ My mom said as she
picked at the first ring, obviously bading goodbye to one of her regular
customers at the shop. ‘’Khayrah, how are you?”
I blew my nose into a
napkin as I replied. “I’m not fine. I went to beg Taofeek in his office. I humiliated
myself and he wouldn’t accept me. Why did I come to this world in the first
place? To face all these? Why can’t be like you or dad or Fadilah?” I whimpered
in anger.
“Astagfirullah.
Everything in this world happens for a reason oo! Omo mi, I’m sorry about everything. I wish we didn’t have to go
through all these but I am certain that ALlaah tests his servant for a reason.
You are not the only who is affected by this. We all are. Every single morning
I pray, I ask ALlaah to restore your health and grant you long life. Do you
think I’m really strong? That’s because I try to appear strong whenever I’m
around the family. I try to appear strong so that you won’t lose hope. When I’m
alone, I cry and wish that this had never happened. But we will be patient and
prayerful because this is a test from ALlaah. We will never lose hope because
we have faith that things would get better by ALlaah’s will. If Taofeek’s isn’t
the one for you, he won’t come back and you’ll find someone who’ll sincerely
love you irrespective of what you’re going through. Do not allow this to make
you feel sad. Remain grateful because there are people who are worse off than
you. Keep praying and hoping for ALlaah’s mercy and healing. Please, Khayrah, I
love you so much and I won’t want you to brood over this. I’ll leave my shop with Bukky and start coming
home. Please, get home and take a rest. I’ll join you shortly.’’
‘’Okay mom.” I threw my
phone on the chair and stared out of the window, reflecting on all she had
said.
Some seconds later, my
phone buzzed, signaling a new message on Facebook. I hissed loudly, knowing it
would certainly be from men like Talhah.
My phone buzzed
repeatedly and I picked my phone, wondering who had sent me messages. My eyes
almost popped out of its sockets when I saw Taofeek’s name.
Asalamu ‘alaykum Khayrah. How are you? I stumbled upon your
profile and I must sincerely say that I’ve been overwhelmed. Can I know more
about you?
-
Taofeek Adewale.
I smiled widely as I
started to type. It was the first message I had received from Taofeek. It was
how we started our relationship. It meant that he was ready to start all over
again.
Wa’alaykumu salam. I think I love you already!!! Please, can
we get married?
-
Khayrah Roqeeb.
Khayrah, I’m sorry for the way I acted earlier. I accept
you, no matter your condition. Whatever it is, we will fight it together as a
couple. We will make each day count.
-
Taofeek Adewale.
I’m sorry for hiding this from you. Please forgive me.
-
Khayrah Roqeeb.
I also hid secrets from you. We’re both guilty.
-
Taofeek Adewale.
I’m excited to be their mother. I’m not very good with
children, but I will learn to become a great mother to them. So tell me, what
other secrets are you hiding?
-
Khayrah Roqeeb.
Lol! I roll on the bed when I sleep. I eat more than you can
ever imagine. I pick my nose when no one’s watching. I hate beans and yam. I can’t
kill cockroach to save my life. I hate reading. Hahaha! Now tell me yours.
-
Taofeek Adewale.
My head is bald. I have few strands of hair left on my head…
-
Khayrah Roqeeb.
You’re my real African queen! Something else?
-
Taofeek Adewale.
Yes. I squeak when I sleep. I’m not working. I can eat rice
throughout the year. I’m scared of death. I don’t have a single friend. There
are more I can’t recall now.
-
Khayrah Roqeeb.
I love you despite your flaws and imperfections.
-
Taofeek Adewale.
And I love and accept you too!
-
Khayrah Roqeeb.
Don't miss out on the previous episodes:
.jpg)
.jpeg)
.jpg)
0 comments:
Post a Comment